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Human Proportions
Following on from yesterday's story on plans for high-rise developments in Paris, EURSOC came across this fascinating article on British classical architect Quinlan Terry.
Terry has become something of a hate figure for the modernist architectural establishment for his quiet insistence on traditional architectural styles: The vocabularly of western European classicism, solid natural materials, buildings which complement their surroundings and, above all, working with human proportions. This latter feature has been a characteristic of western (and particularly British) architecture for centuries but has been deliberately played down by modernist gurus who see people and communities as little more than cogs in the machine.
High-Rise Paris
Architects have warmly welcomed plans by the Socialist Mayor of Paris to build high-rise towers within the perimeter of the city. Green campaigners, conservatives and the public aren't too keen, however.
Mind Games
What's got into your head ? Ever since the pre-war days of Sigmund Freud, only psychologists, psychiatrists and psychoanalysts claim to know what is going on inside your mind.
Firestarter
A stunning image of a Vulcan bomber taking to the skies from the EU Referendum Blog. Your correspondent remembers one of these flying over his house when he was a small boy, and the sight - and the sound, oh the sound! - of it never leaves you. This is the Vulcan's first air show appearance in 15 years.
This bomber is said to be the only one of its kind still flying and has recently been restored by a team of devotees. An estimated 125,000 people watched its flight from the International Air Show.
From the Waddington air show: More photos on the EU Ref's other site, Defence of the Realm. More on the restoration of this amazing aeroplane here.
The Carla Effect
Goodness, she's a quick one. Six months after EURSOC predicted that Carla Bruni would make a great first lady, Maureen Dowd publishes a column on the positive effect Carla is having on both France and its President, Nicolas Sarkozy.
The Enema Of My Enemy Is My Friend
On Wednesday, these four Russian babes unveiled an 360 kg bronze enema bulb carried by three cherubs at Mashuk Akva-Term Sanatorium in the town of Zheleznovodsk, Russian Caucasus Mountains region.
France Goes Pro-Carla
Her husband's ratings remain stubbornly low, but France's "first lady" Carla Bruni-Sarkozy is enjoying sky-high approval ratings from the French public. A recent poll gave her a 68 percent favourable rating; husband Nicolas could only manage 35.
The First Church?
Archaeologists in Jordan have uncovered what they claim could be the first Christian church, dating from the first decades after Christ's death.
Fear Of Flying
If New Labour wants to discourage Britons from flying, perhaps they should put this clip in their next party political broadcast...
We Don't Need No Education
Two vignettes from different ends of the British education system. In the first, two lecturers in London's Kingston University are recorded urging students to game the government's ranking system by inflating the ratings they award their college.
In the second, Cambridge University has dropped its foreign language requirement in order to make it easier for state school applicants to find places in its colleges.
European Tottywatch
Europeans get hot under collars as women make an impact in government
Election wins for two very different characters - Spain's José Luis Rodriguez Zapatero and Italy's Silvio Berlusconi - are set to transform the image of European politics.
Zapatero has unveiled a centre-left cabinet which for the first time contains more women than men. Berlusconi, who caused a familiar storm by comparing left-wing women unfavorably to their conservative counterparts, has promised four women in his "slimmed down" cabinet of twelve ministers.
Sterling Work By The Bundesbra
"You don't get many of these to the euro"
Angela Merkel may have her knockers, but this photo demonstrates that she is getting support in all the right places.
Does Size Matter?
In America the tallest quarter of the population earns nine-to-ten per cent more than the shorter quarter. This is the conclusion of two recent studies by the University of Pennsylvania and the University of Michigan.
Welcome To Paris
The biggest box-office draw in France this year has been Bienvenue chez les Ch'tis, a light-hearted tale of a cop posted to the country's northern region, home of the eponymous Ch'tis.
The movie has worked wonders for the North, viewed by many French citizens as a rainy, depressed and impoverished region. However, it hasn't changed the views of everyone in France, as the thirty metre banner above shows.
Paris In The Occupation
Opening today at the Bibliothèque historique de la Ville de Paris is an exhibition of colour photographs by André Zucca titled "Parisians under the Occupation."
Viagra For Passover
As well as unleavened Matso bread there will be something else on the menu for the traditional week-long Jewish spring religious festival of Passover. (This year it arrives at nightfall on 19 April).
The new ingredient is Viagra, an American drug designed to aid against impotency.
Crown Jewels
Twenty-seven years after the last of Britain's ex-colonies in the Caribbean 'achieved' independence, someone by the name of Elizabeth II remains queen and official head of state in almost all of them.
Pirates Of The Caribbean
Captain Jack would be proud. His modern-day equivalents are increasingly torturing ships and passengers and crew.
We Are Not Amused
There is a different side to Casablanca than the one depicted in the film starring Humphrey Bogart.
Don't Touch
Italy's highest court of appeal has ruled that it is a criminal offence for men to touch their genitals in public.
Monster Mash
Spuds we like
It may have escaped your attention, but the United Nations has declared 2008 "International Year of the Potato".
This year the European Union is paying for a 'pilot' potato processing plant in Cutervo in Peru, the middle point of a big potato-growing region in the northern highlands of the South American country.
The Future's Mobile
Interesting news from Google. According to the FT, the search engine giant has seen 50 times more searches on Apple‘s iPhone than any other mobile handset.
50 times. Seth Weintraub explains that this isn't hugely surprising, given the iPhone's web-friendly nature. iPhone comes with a forfait which encourages portable web use, plus its browser is far and away the best of any handheld device.
France's Prime Minister is a fan: Here's the "branché" François Fillon unplugged in his office, showing off his new toy.
Sexy Sadie
The Maharishi Mahesh Yogi died on 5 February at the age of 91. Perhaps he is now in his heavenly transcendental Om sweet Om.
A Different Prescription
Britain's National Health Service (NHS) has a new official remedy for the populous. Forget about jogging. Have sex. (I guess we knew it anyway).
Blues For England
England is depressed. Consumption of Prozac and its equivalents has continued to increase throughout all counties. The situation appears to be beyond control.
Sarkozy's SMS Plea To Cécilia
A French magazine claims to have an SMS text message from Nicolas Sarkozy which begs his ex-wife, Cécilia, to return.
Sarkozy, who married Carla Bruni on Saturday, is reported to have texted "If you come back, I'll cancel everything" (Si tu reviens, j'annule tout).
The message, published in the left-wing Le Nouvel Observateur, is claimed to have been sent just eight days before his marriage to Bruni.
Mountain High
Nepal is the most poor country in South Asia according to a survey by an affiliate team under the auspice of the United Nations.
Clothing Carla
Put some trousers on, love, you'll catch a chill
The fashion editor in The Times bemoans Carla Bruni's dress sense, complaining that she's a "crashingly boring dresser" whose sartorial timidity means she is unlikely to win a place in Heat magazine's "worst-dressed" column. And you say that as if it's a bad thing?
She does admit, however, that the new First Lady could work wonders for France's under-fire fashion industry - a conclusion EURSOC came to some weeks ago.
Naked Germans Take To Air
Germans are renowned throughout Europe for their relaxed attitude to nudity. Tourists are often surprised to find naked Germans sunbathing in city parks, while numerous beaches, particularly those popular with east Germans, sport naturist zones for those keen to let it all hang out.
German tourists who can't wait until they arrive at their destination to disrobe are being catered for in a new service from travel agent Ossiurlaub.de: an all-nude chartered flight between the town of Erfurt and the Baltic Sea island resort of Usedom.
Sniffing Out A Partner
Over a decade ago, Claus Wedekind, a researcher at the University of Bern in Switzerland, conducted an interesting experiment.
Flavio Corner
EURSOC loves Flavio Briatore, the Italian co-owner of Queen's Park Rangers Football Club. So welcome to the first installment in what is likely to be a short-lived feature on EURSOC, Flavio Corner.
Here he is on the terraces at Loftus Road. We assure you that the colour settings on this photograph have not been tampered with in any way. And you thought Orangemen were only found in Northern Ireland.
Uncorked
The California Istitute of Technology has a sound reputation for teaching applied science. And now, wine tasting sessions may be considered a new speciality at this university.
Behave!
It is an old axiom that the French eat well at the table and that the best the English can manage are good table manners.
But in another indication that standards are slipping in England, a public school (private school) is introducing a course on "etiquette" to teach its 700 pupils how to behave in "formal situations".
School For Smiles
Today's lesson is how to learn to smile. I know it's not easy but we must try.
We are in Beijing in January for early homework for hosting the Olympic games in August. The teacher is Ms Liu Wenjing, vice-principal of the new 'smiling school'.
History Of The iPhone
As the tech world gears up for another messianic keynote speech by Apple CEO Steve Jobs, Wired magazine has an inside look at the secret development of the company's iconic iPhone - and discusses how iPhone changed the game in the mobile communications business.
Macworld takes place next Tuesday (15 Jan) in San Francisco.
Two Of A Kind
Check out this photo of Nicolas Sarkozy with his girlfriend Carla Bruni on holiday in Egypt. Doesn't Carla look just like Sarko's ex-wife, Cécila? Nice to see the President is consistent in his choice of woman.
Rugby & Football
You know you're getting old when you read an article by Richard Littlejohn and agree with every word of it. Two EURSOC correspondents had an extended conversation yesterday about the relative merits of the England football and rugby teams. Their conclusions weren't far off what Littlejohn writes in today's Daily Mail.
Dressed To Kill
Seeing Che Guevara's mug plastered over t-shirts is depressing enough. But some chancers are selling t-shirts featuring leftist icons who make Guevara look like Polly Toynbee.
Paris, My Arse
Last September, the producer of Monopoly asked the French to vote on which towns should replace Paris streets on the new edition of the boardgame. The French, in their wisdom, voted Paris a distant 31st place, well behind the leader, the small south-western town of Montcuq. Francophones will note "Montcuq" is pronounced "mon cul", which translates as "my arse."
Apple And Orange Fallout Continues
French fans of the "marque de la pomme" are beginning to worry that the much-hyped Apple iPhone won't make it into the shops before Christmas.
Despite reports early last week that the rift between the US company and its French distribution partner Orange (France Telecom) had been healed, the weekend saw fresh conflict. Orange is still opposed to the massive cut of subscription fees Apple is demanding, while a French law could deter the iPhone's producer from releasing the handset in France at all.
The Word On The Street
Some French charm from the Paris metro. You can see the full poster on EURSOC's Flickr site.
Warning to the sensitive: Some swear words.
The Devil's Bible
A 13th century Bible once claimed to have been written with the aid of the Devil has been returned to Prague after 350 years.
At 92 cm tall, 50 cm wide and 22 cm thick, the Codex Gigas ("Giant Book") is the largest extant Medieval document in the world. It was created in a Bohemian monastery in the early 13th century. Legend has it that a monk was sentenced to death by being walled up in the monastery. To escape punishment, he vowed to create something which would glorify the monastery for eternity. He is said to have sold his soul to the Devil, who helped him create the 75kg book in a single night.
Germany To Build Maglev Railway
Europe's new age of the train continues apace. France opened a TGV line to the eastern reaches of the nation and Germany in June. November sees the opening of the high-speed line between the Channel Tunnel and London's beautiful St Pancras. And this week, the German state of Bavaria announced that it had found funds to build a 37km high-speed Maglev service between Munich's city centre and its airport.
Oktoberfest Underway
The world's biggest beer festival began at noon in Munich on Saturday, when the Mayor cracked open the first barrel with the Bavarian words "O'zapft is!" (it's tapped!).
Between now and October 3, over six million people including nearly a million foreign visitors are expected to eat, drink and be merry in a continuation of the 200-year old Bavarian tradition. In that time, they'll drink 6 million litre mugs of beer, eat nearly 220,000 pairs of sausages and nearly half a million roast chickens.
Oddly-Shaped Balls
The Rugby World Cup begins in France this month
The French are bracing themselves (but pointedly not strapping on helmets or protective armour) in anticipation of 2007 which kicks off in four days in the Stade de France north of Paris, when the host nation takes on Argentina.
Twenty nations will take part in the competition, which runs until October 20, when the finalists will meet in St Denis once again. Many in France are wary of claims that the hosts will beat sides like New Zealand's mighty All Blacks and win the tournament, as the French football team did in 1998. Nevertheless, the authorities are doing their best to stir up interest in a sport that until recently, was an obsession mostly in the nation's South West.
Bloody Students
Police were called in to investigate a local carnival in Cornwall following complaints from six visiting students that one group of performers was offensive to Muslims.
Leave Your Beach Towels At Home
US readers might not be aware of this, but throughout Europe, German tourists are notorious for hogging the best spots by the pool by draping their towels over sunloungers. While their British cousins are deep in binge drinking-inspired slumber, Germans sneak from their hotel rooms in the early hours and bag poolside sunloungers with their towels. Blearly-eyed Brits emerge to find the best spots already taken, while the Germans rise later, claiming their places while the Brits smoulder resentfully on the rickety chairs.
Tour de France Pile-Up
What is it with the Tour de France, the world's most prestigious cycling race and perhaps the most gruelling sporting event in the world? Each year, millions thrill to the sight of the colourful pelaton threading through France's glorious countryside and picturesque villages; however, each year, headlines of doping and racers failing drugs tests are never far away.
Wine: A Modest Proposal
Europe has been gripped by controversies in the wine world. First, a few weeks ago, a group of French winemakers (terroirists?) threatened a campaign of violence if President Nicolas Sarkozy didn't come up with more subsidies to keep them in the plonk-production business. Then, yesterday, it emerged that the European Union was looking at ways to stop paying winemakers to produce wine which everyone knows will never sell - the EU has to pay again for the wasteful and destructive business of turning the stuff to biofuel.
iPhone Über Alles
Rumour has it that Apple's much-hyped (and sell-out) iPhone will touch down in Europe in November. Germany is said to be the first country in the EU to get the coveted telephone-browser-music player, with operator T-Mobile set to announce the launch of the iPhone for November 1st.
Talking Italian
Italian food is good for you you. But only if it is made in Italy. This is the message from Rome.
The Emperor's New Clothes
Sarko's style counsel
Most newspapers have concentrated on the First Lady's dress sense: Cécilia Sarkozy raised eyebrows by stepping out in Prada rather than patronising one of France's famous fashion houses, while her taste in US cowboy boots has also drawn attention.
However, it's now the turn of her husband, President Nicolas Sarkozy, to set the fashion world talking.
End Of The Road For "Jaws"
The world's hungriest man is suffering from a bout of "arthritic jaw". His name is Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi. He is, of course, from Japan.
No Bums On The Beach
Signs at the entrance to Beach 134, in Riccone on the Adriatic coast, say "No Men".
Roswell Sixty
Next month sees the sixtieth anniversary of what UFO-watchers worldwide know as the "Roswell incident" - when an alien spaceship was supposed to have crashed in the New Mexico desert.
China's Name Game
With more than a billion people sharing little more than 100 surnames, Chinese authorities have a problem differentiating, for instance, between the 1.3 million people called Liu Bo.
Wide-Bodied Jets
A court in India has ruled against a group of female flight attendants who were grounded from the national airline for being overweight.
iPhone: iWant
US customers can finally get their paws on Apple's lush new iPhone on June 29. Apple has published three new ads for the iPhone on its website, and while EURSOC understand ads are there to make products look cool, these advertisements make it look stunning.
Are You Lonesome Tonight?
Japan's single women are being offered the ultimate sleeping partner. A comfort to cuddle with, but which does not snore, smoke, grab all the blankets or make demands to go to the kitchen in the middle of the night.
No More Sacred Cows
Authorities in Delhi, the capital of India, have a plan to rid the city of the cows that wander through the streets. The idea is to take the sacred animals to a new dairy complex. The installation may open in August 2008.
A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away
It's thirty years since Star Wars was released. EURSOC suddenly feels very old. The BBC has a handy guide to Star Wars trivia (which most fans will know anyway) while The Times argues that it was the film's lack of originality that made it such a success.
Sex Files
The image of conservatives as stocking-wearing, spanking-obsessed sexual perverts took another blow this week with the release of a paper which claimed that liberals have more sexual experiences than conservatives.
Up, Up And Away!
Those long-haul flights from continent to continent take their toll. Even for the well-heeled traveller. And sometimes even more for the frequent flyer. Now there is a possible solution to diminish the fatigue.
Argentine scientists have discovered that the impotence pill, Viagra, has helped animals to cope when their body clocks are disrupted in a similar fashion to jet lag.
Nicolas et Cecilia vont en bateau
France's left-wing media is carping that President-elect Nicolas Sarkozy has taken a holiday on a yacht belonging to billionaire businessman Vincent Bollore.
Pounds & Ounces
Meat, fish, fruit and vegetables can continue to be sold in pounds and ounces after a U-turn by the European Commission.
Home Alone
Two interesting takes on Britain's febrile property market, one from the left-leaning Guardian and the other in this week's conservative Spectator.
Happy Hanami
Japan's cherry blossom season has officially begun, according to state weather reporters. Millions of Japanese are now heading for parks and the countryside for "flower viewing" (Hanami), a centuries-old tradition where families and friends gather under the blossoms to enjoy the all-too-brief season.
Surely, this is one of the world's most beautiful traditions.
Predicting the arrival of the cherry and ume blossoms is one of the most important and delicate tasks of the state weather service.
No Sex Please, We're Japanese
Been a long time
The secret of Japan's low birth rate is out of the bedroom door. According to The Times, more than a third of married couples do not have sex.
A government survey says that 34.6 per cent of couples has not made love for more than four weeks.
How the government in Tokyo has such precise statistics is a mystery.
Fit For A Queen?
From our court correspondent. Over at The Daily Telegraph, Clare Coulson is having a go at Prince William's girlfriend, Kate Middleton, for her lack of fashion sense.
Ms Middleton was spotted with her beau at the Cheltenham Festival, "wearing (it says here) a dreadfully dull chocolate-brown tweed jacket, deeply unflattering calf-length skirt and that Sloane staple, a blue shirt."
Feel The Love
A brawl broke out during last night's Valencia - Inter Milan game. Officials and players joined in the melée, which marks another distressing chapter for Italian football, only months after the Italy team won sport's ultimate prize. Let's see how UEFA deals with this.
Dear Old Europe
The UK's capital rises up the most expensive ratings
Eight of the world's most expensive cities are in Europe, according to a report by the Economist Intelligence Unit.
Oslo headed the list, followed by Paris, Copenhagen and London. The British capital is up from seventh last year - the Guardian reports that the rise in London's place was partly due to soaring public transport costs.
Long Distance Takeaway
Rapper gets a taste of the East (East Cardiff)
When EURSOC was a student, he was horrified (but also mildly impressed) by two neighbours who ordered pizza for delivery from the takeaway across the road. This, surely, was the height of lazy decadence: To call from the sofa and pay an extra pound for the delivery guy to walk four metres from the restaurant and climb to the second floor.
But my old neighbours have been roundly beaten in the decadent dining stakes by pop star Kanye West, who has just ordered a £2000 ($3,900) takeaway to be delivered from Cardiff, Wales' British Raj's dining room to New York City.
Times Are Tough
We know that government cutbacks are hurting our troops in Iraq, but this exclusive Ministry of Defence photo of the new tank is pushing things a bit. From military cut-backs on MilBlog Natural Family Blog - thanks to John Rosenthal of Transatlantic Intelligencer for the tip-off.
The Parti Socialiste At Prayer
Someone (presumably long ago) said that the Church of England was "the Conservative Party at prayer." If that was ever so, it's fair to say that the Césars - the French equivalent of the Oscars ceremony - gathers the Parti Socialiste to prayer.
The annual ritual is the closest France's luvvies get to a cult gathering. Whether or not there's any magic left is debatable. Your correspondent has watched six ceremonies, and a familiar routine has emerged, as sacred to the left-leaning cultural elite as the stations of the cross are to any medieval pilgrim.
First and foremost, the top awards rarely go to any film that substantial numbers of people bother going to see. It's not that France has a shortage of popular films: Carry On-style comedies like Les Bronzées III regularly top the box office charts, while even serious home-grown fare like Les Indigenes can put 3.1 million bums on seats. While Les Indigenes was awarded for best original screenplay, the biggest gong, the "best film" award, went to a French adaptation of Lady Chatterly's Lover, which only 200,000 people have seen.
It's a familiar pattern.
Time For Tea
You've loved Guido's Tory Totty. Now check out another peculiarly English vice: Totty with Tea. An entire website dedicated to beautiful women drinking tea.
Don't miss its wild child sister site, Women with Wine.
And for those of you with a more military bent, here's a blog dedicated to the beauties of the Israel Defence Force.
Street Level
Paris, Monday.
See anything interesting on the way to work this morning? Email it to us at eursoc--at--noos.fr and we'll publish.
Burger Kings
How a Frenchman made McDonalds the biggest meal in France
In Oak Brook, Illinois, there is an almost unknown but important institution: The University of McDonald's.
This slightly-modest, green-grass campus was created by the founder of the McDonald's chain of restaurants, Ray Kroc. He built his prototype eatery in the late 1950s in a suburb of Los Angeles, California. In fact, there is even talk of designation of the restaurant as a classified national monument.
It is there still today, and is almost a shrine to the first fat-or-fast-food restaurant in the world.
Size Matters
Spain's government has introduced a measure to enforce that shop window mannequins should be be displayed wearing clothing of a larger size.
Street Level
Paris, Place du Marché St Catherine, Saturday afternoon.
See anything interesting today? Snap it with your digital camera and email it to us at eursoc at noos dot fr and we'll publish.
Blogging On Your Back
For those of you who take the idea of Pyjamas Media too literally, Office Organix has the perfect solution. With the $4000 Ergoquest 500 you can work from bed - though if you want to avoid bedsores, it can adjust to standing and desk positions. Sleeping on the job? Never! Via Gizmodo
Frangleterre
The papers are having great fun with the revelation that Britain and France considered a 'union' in the 1950s. According to declassified documents uncovered by a BBC documentary team, in September 1956 French Prime Minister Guy Mollet held a meeting with Britain's Anthony Eden, during which Mollet raised the possibility of a union between the two nations.
Hugs All Round
Sometimes a hug is all we need - at least, that is the message from the Freehugscampaign. 'Free hugs' is the invention of an unsusual person by the name of Juan Mann.
It's The Real Thing
Has Coca-Cola reached its sell-by date?
Coca-Cola is the most popular soft drink in the world. Pepsi is just behind in sales. But change is always possible. Next month, Americans will be told through a massive advertising campaign that there is an antithetical alternative to Coke.
She Was The People's Cetacean
This warm winter must have confused the radars of the Guardian's editorial team: Evidently, they still think it's the silly season. What other reason could there be for a "commemoration" of the first anniversary of the demise of the unfortunate northern bottle-nosed whale, which swam up the Thames last year?
The online supplement was given top billing on the newspaper's website (above). Poor old thing (the whale, not the Guardian).
iPhone Arrives (Soon-ish)
Well, he did have one up his sleeve after all. Following much speculation, Apple's CEO Steve Jobs wowed guests at yesterday's Macworld with the company's first step into the mobile telecommunications world, the iPhone.
iPhone Home?
Most of the tech and business worlds seem convinced that Apple will announce a mobile phone at today's Macworld event in San Francisco. All the elements are in place for a big declaration from the computer manufacturer-turned-lifestyle giant: CEO Steve Jobs is lining up another keynote speech; Apple banners, their displays frustratingly draped in trademark black are being snapped and distributed around the net to eager blogs; and, most typical of all, the hype machine has gone into hyperdrive.
Bond, James Bond
Sony Pictures, under its subsidiary, MGM/UA, has received a licence to kill competitors at cinema box offices in North America, Europe and Asia.
Warning: Gratuitous Nudity
The second season of best-show-on-the-telly Rome begins on HBO this week.
The first season, part funded by the BBC, was served up with plenty of violence, gore and sex - though most of the controversy rested on what the Beeb cut out, rather than the rutting Romans it broadcast.
Thank heaven, then, for the moral watchdogs of the Sunday Telegraph, who warn potential viewers that the new series has even more blood and bosoms. "A blood-soaked soldier carrying a head through the streets", it gasps, and "a slave being tortured to death" await viewers...
The clincher that will have US viewers rushing to their Tivos is the breathless report that in one of Rome's "numerous scenes of nudity", "Kerry London — the scheming Octavia — is pictured naked in bed." (Actually, it's Kerry Condon.) Is the Torygraph really trying to put us off this show?
If Telegraph arts and media editor Chris Hastings can guarantee that Atia (above right) gets her kit off too, EURSOC will be booking flights to the US.
Street Level
Magistrates demonstrating in Paris this afternoon.
See anything interesting in your neighbourhood today? Snap it and email it to us at eursoc@noos.fr - we'll publish the best.
Street Level
Blue shirts on the Eurostar, from a reader.
See anything interesting on your journey to work today? Send us a photo and we'll publish it. eursoc@noos.fr
Scent Fit For A Queen
Look like this and you can wear whatever perfume you want
The French have always loved perfumes, it seems - not least during the ancien regime, when idiosyncratic bathing habits and a miasma of foul everyday odours made it necessary to dip practically everything you came into contact with in rich scents.
Of course, this kind of portable air conditioning was only for the rich.
Street Level
"Turqia is Asia No Europa", Paris 2006.
See anything interesting on the way to work this morning? Snap it with your mobile phone and send it to us at eursoc@noos.fr
Street Level
From reader Dylan Kissane: "A middle class crisis? HA! The whole state is in crisis!"
Spotted in the TGV station, Lyon.
Street Level
What caught your eye on the way to work this morning? Snap it with your camera and send it to eursoc@noos.fr and we'll publish.
Black Is The New Black
To buy a Hermes silk scarf - go to 24 rue du Faubourg St Honore in 75008 Paris. If you want to buy a Gap shirt, go to 14 rue Lobineau in the Marché St Germain in 75006 Paris.
But, if your taste is slightly more Islamic, head for Marché Voltaire, in Asnières, in the north-west suburb of Paris (Postal code 92600). The shopping centre is not far from Porte de Clichy. The metro station is Asnières-Gennevilliers.
Band Of Boars
In the UK, it's gangs of drunken youths who rampage through town centres at night destroying property and terrifying locals; The small Bavarian towns of Veitshöchheim and Margetshöchheim have the same problem with wild boar.
Cold Turkey
Forget turkey and plum pudding at Christmas dinners at schools in England this year. The new menu is Halal chicken.
Instead of the usual Christmas dinner for this year's festivities, children at Oakwood comprehensive school in Rotherham, South Yorkshire were to be treated to chicken, prepared in the Islamic halal fashion.
Smeg Head
Eighties-style political correctness is alive and well, at least in the mind of former CND head and Moscow apologist "Monsignor" Bruce Kent. Iain Dale reports on Kent's reaction to the fridge in the office of 18 Doughty Street. The patriotic boys at the new broadcaster had decorated their Smeg with a Union Jack: Kent rolled his eyes and asked if he was in the "National Front's headquarters."
Tory Topiary
The Conservatives revealed their new logo today. It's a rather scribbly-looking oak tree and it cost them £40,000 - that's it on the right above.
It's meant to stand for friendship, solidity, sensitivity to the environment, our heritage... EURSOC is just reminded how Dave Cameron's policies have yet to take on any recognisable shape or form.
No Sex Please, We're Colombian
Gang members in the city of Pereira in Colombia are today facing an ultimatum: give up guns or give up sex.
In a modern day echo of the famous Greek comedy Lysistrata, the wives and girlfriends of the town's gang members are refusing sex until their menfolk lay down their weapons.
Sink Estate
Ireland's countryside is beautiful - certainly among the most scenic areas of Europe. Problem: Not only the Irish think so - 200,000 holiday homes, built mainly by Dutch, German, French and American owners, dot the landscape and threaten to "spoil the look of the place", as they might say on the Emerald Isle. As cheap flights draw more seasonal settlers and the Irish - among Europe's richest people - get richer themselves, parts of the stunning west coast could be ruined by development.
Nudes Of The World
Now there's a way for the Mainstream Media to fight back in the battle for ratings. On Saturday night, viewers of a Swedish state television news bulletin were surprised to see a porn movie broadcast behind the presenter. An accident, the broadcaster says - but was it?
Tottyscope
Gawd bless Guido Fawkes, the British blogger who has picked at the scab of the government's cash for peerages scandal while other media sources have distracted readers with heatwave stories.
Happy Daze
"Is the heatwave a good thing?" asks the Independent as temperatures hit 30 degrees, sending Britain into its annual sun-induced hysteria.
Tubbies Say "Death To America"
The Sun reports that Iran is buying 65 episodes of the BBC's top children's show, Tellytubbies. It illustrates the story with a mock-up of how the Tehran Tubbies might look, right, complete with Kalashnikovs, radiation warnings and nuclear missiles looming in the background.
But the newspaper misses one important fact: As far as EURSOC can remember, at least two Tubbies are female, and look: They're shamelessly flaunting their nakedness, not a burkha in sight! The religious police would crack a few Tubbie skulls to put that right if it happened in Tehran.
So Long, Marianne
"France is a bitch, don't forget to f*** her till she's exhausted, you have to treat her like a slut, man." Charming stuff from one of France's hottest rappers, Monsieur R. In the same song, FranSSe, the artist promises to "I piss on Napoleon and on General de Gaulle."
Rumble In The Jungle
Jacques Chirac's bad luck continues. The Guardian reports that his legacy project - a museum dedicated to his beloved African and Asian indigenous art - is coming under fire from commentators who claim its design is racist.
They Seek Him Here...
Tony Blair's holiday destination has been revealed: The PM's press office has announced that Blair and his family are staying in Barbados this year, and that last night he attended a war memorial service for Barbadan veterans.
Up to this morning, the British press was instructed to keep mum about Blair's holiday for security reasons - though most journalists were in on the secret. Journos are not the best people to trust with secrets, and boozy hacks had already tipped off most of their mates about the holiday: that is, if they could find anyone interested in where the Blairs are spending the summer.
However, our favourite "Oops. Did I say that?" slip goes to the Mirror's Tony Parsons, who declared that
"(Blair) is currently chilling somewhere with a reputation for gin-soaked hedonism, where louche men and willing women cavort in a closed society with "an upscale atmosphere dedicated to the indulgence of the rich and famous"."
Any aspiring Islamofascist need only copy and paste the phrase "an upscale atmosphere dedicated to the indulgence of the rich and famous" into Google to discover precisely where the first family is hanging out. Looks nice.
Questions For Cash
Any remaining hopes that Britain might soon join the single European currency were dashed (again) when it was announced that the Royal Mint has launched a competition to redesign six of the UK's coins.
Art Attack
Are British artists Gilbert & George trying to add a fatwa to their list of achievements?
Update your Celebrity Death Pool bets today!
Lie Back And Think Of France
Mark Steyn is fond of commenting that Europe faces a demographic disaster, as falling birth rates and increased life expectancy leave western nations more and more reliant on immigration. Unlike the US, which can point to huge increases in population both past and projected, Europe, or Europe as we know it, faces extinction.
Well, Mr Steyn will be pleased to hear that at least one European nation looks like increasing its population by around 25 percent in the next half century. The good news is that the state is doing this without resorting to abortion bans, mass immigration or changing its own peculiarly European view of the family.
The bad news is that the nation in question is France.
Yes, according to updated projections released by France's demographers, France could have a population of 75 million by 2050. That's up from 60 million today.
The demographers did not comment on what percentage of that 75 million will still be on the dole in 2050 if France's economic performance, too, remains the same fifty years down the line.
Britain, which has population levels similar to France, is expected to stay at around 60 million. Germany, however, currently Europe's biggest nation with 82 million, is expected to experience a fall in population to around 70 million. Italians can expect to find themselves on an endangered species list soon, as the current population plummets from around 57 million to 43 million over the next fifty years.
When French population growth - the so-called "bébé boom" was discussed last year, many believed that the recent rise in French birthrates was due to the influx in (mainly Muslim) immigrants, who tended to have larger families than "native" French people. The fact that French demographers fastidiously avoid collecting data on ethnicity or religion when compiling these studies added fuel to the debate - indeed, to this day, no-one in France can give a clear answer to how many Muslims live here. France, the story went, was becoming Islamised. Marianne would soon be wearing a burkha. By the end of the 21st century, sharia law would replace the French Consitution... and so on.
However, this time demographers claim that while immigration is at high levels, the rise in births is spread evenly across all parts of society. Moreover, Britain, Germany and Italy also have large immigrant populations, often Muslim, and they are not predicting similarly great leaps in population levels.
It's bad news for anyone predicting a decline in France's dominance of the European Union. The Constitution - or whatever we have in place by 2050 - grants voting weights to nations according to population. Germany will have the largest vote when the treaty passes into law next year. By 2050, France will have overtaken Germany - and will have stolen Germany's place as the EU's most important vote.
Even the doughty Eastern Europeans won't be able to ride to the rescue, as we hope they do to combat France's current nefarious plots against Blighty: They, too, have low birth rates.
The only challenge to France is Turkey. With a current population of around 70 million and a projected 2050 population of 100 million, Turkey will command far and away the largest number of EU votes mid-century. That is, if France allows the Turks to join the EU - while Britain is Turkey's loudest supporter in Europe, France, with the exception of president Chirac, is the most prominent opponent of Turkish membership.
If France wants to outweigh Turkey to rule the EU of the future, French men and women will have to redouble their already impressive efforts.
Aux armes, citoyens!
England Expects
Just how would Admiral Nelson fare in Blair's Royal Navy? In a week when it was revealed that one of Her Majesty's Ships has had to set aside a prayer room for use by a Satanist, Fainting in Coyles has an hilarious reenactment of life on an ocean wave with HMS Appeasement.
Just don't forget to make room for the diversity co-ordinators, the legal aid lawyers and the race relations advisors.
The Special Relationship
The Guardian encouraged its readers to write sanctimonious letters to voters in Ohio in an attempt to get undecideds to vote for Kerry.
Like any other sensible people, Americans object to being lectured on how to vote by foreigners, most of all the po-faced wankers that make up the Guardian's readership.
If anything, the Guardian's campaign has done more to "energise Bush's base" than any number of Karl Rove's promises to Bible bashing non-voters. And it has inspired an illuminating exchange of views across the Atlantic.
The Guardian might have come to the surprising conclusion that the Gulf between gun-toting midwestern fundamentalists and terrorist-cuddling UK lefties is as wide as ever, which may have been its point.
But surely a newspaper which, like Michael Moore and French foreign policy, owes its unique selling point to swivel-eyed anti-Bushism, has a vested interest in keeping Bush in the White House?
Surely the Guardian couldn't be provoking Ohio into voting Bush to guarantee it has something to moan about for another four years?
This Land
Just in time for the US election, here's an amusing "tribute" to the contenders. Apologies, no doubt, to Woody Guthrie:
EU Goes For Gold
A reader tipped us off to the news that an EU commissioner claims that the European Union "swept the board" at the Athens Olympics.
Commission spokesman Reijo Kemppinnen may have been only joking when he compared Europe's 286 medals (including 82 gold) to the USA's 103 (with 35 gold) but a Eurocrat's joke is no laughing matter.
Not least for Romano Prodi, outgoing Commission president. Prodi's vision for the next Olympic Games is for "The EU Member State teams in Beijing carry the flag of the European Union alongside their own national flag as a symbol of our unity."
EURSOC is not sure if Texans, for example, boo Floridans competing for their country with the same passion as the Irish boo the English, the English boo the French and Germans, or the Dutch boo the Germans, or the Poles boo the Germ... oh, you get the picture. And can it be extended to other sports? We look forward to seeing 2008's Euro soccer finals contested between the EU A and B teams.
Can't Get You Out Of My Head
What is it about Germans and Margaret Thatcher? Last October, we reported that forty articles on Baroness Thatcher had appeared in German newspapers in the space of a couple of weeks.
To the horror of Eurocrats and Germany's cosy consensus, a best-selling book argued that Germany needed a healthy dose of Thatcherism to reverse its economic decline.
Wishful thinking, we thought: Germans might be fascinated with The Iron Lady, but as for importing her policies? Highly unlikely.
But now they're at it again. Germany's president-designate, economist Horst Kohler, has urged the country's opposition leader Angela Merkel to commit her party to a programme of Thatcher-inspired reform.
"She should not think to copy Maggie Thatcher" he warned, "but she should certainly try to measure up to her in terms of the depth and breadth of reforms she chooses to implement."
Germany is not yet in the rotten state Britain was in before Thatcher came to power but it could certainly head that way. Perhaps Kohler's call could wake Germans up to the necessity for reform before they need a Thatcher figure.
Don't Mention The War
For a nation often accused of harbouring an obsession with the Second World War, many Britons know bugger all about it.
The Daily Mirror - itself no stranger to making mistakes about wars - asked 1,000 under-25s seven hilariously simple questions about D-Day.
Only six percent of interviewees answered all the questions correctly.
Answers to the question "What is D-Day?" ranged from "denomination day" to "Doomsday." Some interviewees thought it took place in Japan (at least they got the right war) or Iraq. One twenty year old student believed that Tony Blair was prime minister at the time.
Welcome To Euroworld!
Never mind the constitution: The EU's members have decided to give up their nation status and start anew as a giant theme park.
At least, that's what the amazing Weekly World News says. The US newspaper, previously best known for its discovery of Bat Boy and its UFO exposés, has an exclusive look at plans for a new, federal EU:
"The new park will be called EuroWorld" says the WWN, "and will cover the entire continent of what is now known as Europe. The decision was made by the EU countries in response to their collective realization that no one in Europe has had an innovative idea in well over a century.
With nothing new to offer visitors, the European countries decided to stop pretending they were still relevant, and to start celebrating their colorful pasts.
"Our stagnant continent has been a virtual museum for decades," explains an unnamed EU representative. "Many could argue that we already were nothing more than an amusement park. The decision to legally become a large theme park is really only a formality."
Appeasing Osama
Following on from Mo Mowlam's demand that we should negotiate with Osama bin Laden, Samizdata has an amusing list of issues that might come up at the table.
Get The Message?
Valery Giscard d'Estaing expects that future Europeans will erect statues of him and other EU constitution drafters in their town squares. EURSOC reckons that they are more likely to burn effigies of them, Guy Fawkes style.
But at last one French MEP has paid Giscard d'Estaing's treaty a tribute it deserves.
Eurorealist William Abitbol has translated the constitution into mobile phone SMS text messages. Abitbol says he did so to underline the treaty's "Orwellian nature", comparing the language of the document to Newspeak.
You can download the entire treaty in pdf format here if you are inclined - Abitbol thoughtfully includes a French version alongside his SMS translation.
And M Giscard d'Estaing's views on the matter? The former president is yet to comment, but we don't expect he will relish the new version of his name: valeri Js1/4 Dst1
Drama Out Of A Crisis
A British writer has produced a moronic play claiming to satirize the US and UK-led war on terror. By all accounts the play depicts prime minister Tony Blair and president George Bush's religious faith as being more sinister and dangerous that that of the adherents of another prominent world religion, which doesn't get so much as a look-in...
People Like Us
Time for a quick quiz. The descriptions below are taken from an English school textbook published in 1856. See if you can match them to today's Europeans.
1. Where the people live "cheaply by fishing and are robust, well made, patient under hardships and distinguished for their hospitality to strangers."
2. "A gay, active and lively people, graceful in their deportment and very polite; possessing however not an inconsiderable share of vanity."
3. "Slow and heavy but remarkable for their cleanliness, frugality and industry."
4. "'Grave and haughty people, possessing elevated notions of honour; but they are indolent and revengeful."
5. "The intelligence, industry and enterprise of her people have raised her to a pitch of greatness enjoyed by no other power."
6. "Hardy, active and brave; the lower classes however are in general ignorant and superstitious and in a wretched state of poverty."
7. "Discreet and polite people but extremely effeminate."
No, Minister
Oh God. British MP and Europe minister Denis MacShane is back in the Guardian with another installment of his Euro Diary.
Home Improvements
British Eurosceptics are gloating after an EU official suggested that Waterloo Station and Trafalgar Square be renamed to avoid harming French sensibilities.
Briton Francis Carpenter says that Europe Station and Concord Square would better reflect 21st century values.
Denis' Diary
Denis MacShane, Britain's minister for Europe, starts his Diary in today's Guardian.
MacShane kicks off with a moan that would do any teen diarist proud: Why does no-one understand me?
Big In Japan
The Independent runs the weirdest story of the week, reporting on claims that French president Jacques Chirac has a Japanese love child.
Shiny Happy People
Recent outbursts suggest that we Europeans don't like one another as much as we would like to pretend.
